That’s right. It’s not overly fake, pointless reality TV shows. It’s not the supremely talentless and obviously mental LadyGaga. It’s not fake tan that makes people look like they should be incorporated into a traffic light. It’s the thing that us Brits are most stereotyped for other than our supposedly ‘posh’ accents (come pay a visit to South Yorkshire); Tea.
Everyone bloody loves it. My mum, my dad, my sister, my girlfriend, my brother-in-law, my best friends. The list is bloody endless. They all have it a different ‘way’. Some like it with loads of milk, some don’t. Some like spoonfuls of sugar in their’s, others don’t. I like mine like this:
No sugar. No milk. No teabag. JUST WATER PLEASE!
Y’see, I really like water. In fact, sometimes, I’ve gone as far as saying that water is my favourite drink, so much more refreshing than a Dr. Pepper or Sprite, so much less symptomless than cider and Bailey’s (awful stuff). It’s just plain, boring, as-close-to-natural-as-you-can-get water. So why poison it with what is essentially leaves that keep you awake all night and can give you many unwelcome side-effects.
People look at me like I’m crazy when I say I don’t like tea or coffee. Being a Yorkshireman it seems it’s even more of a crime. I’ve tried all the different ‘ways’ you can have it, but I just end up squirming in disgust and wishing for a pint of water. Tea just ain’t my cup o’ tea… wait…
So, all you folk outside of Britain who think us British go around pronouncing our T’s and P’s as precisely as possible, sipping tea and singing God Save Our Gracious Queen, just remember there’s me saying this:
Tea’s blood’eh ‘orrible an’t Queen can begger off!
Ya get me?